I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down

Guess I should update as I haven't in a week. Apologies for that, I just haven't had anything to write. OR I've just been a lazy git. Take your pick.

Back at uni... not sure what to put really... because I'm unsure of how I feel. It was awkward to begin with, and I don't think I'm really helping matters, but at the same time I can't instantly stop feeling the way I do. We went to Tesco yesterday and I ended up walking home because I couldn't deal with being with her for that amount of time. At one point she walked next to me and I almost put my arm around her, just because it seemed the natural thing to do. After a while though I was ok.
I struggle with spending a long time around her. 10-20 mins I can manage, anything more and it gets a bit too much, simply because I still like her more than I should. She spoke to me today, albeit breifly just to ask if the others had gone down to dinner, I said i didn't know so we went and looked and they weren't there, causing a slightly awkward silence. I wanted to ask how she was and stuff but I thought I should hold off on that for a while and take things slowly.

All the girls sit together and the way seating is I'm probably going to be sitting on my own a lot. I don't mind too much though as it means I get to detach from the group and I don't have to be near her. But at the same time I then feel a bit isolated, but it's not too bad. I guess I am isolating myself from the group a bit on purpose, but not because I don't want to be part of it any more. They're all good friends but I still can't deal with the being around her for long periods of time, and I don't want to have to get up and leave midway and seem rude. We did some practical thing today and I decided to go in the group just to prove to myself that I could spend time around her and have a laugh with the others... I think I did ok.

Laura has been really helpful and listened to me a lot, as has Roxie. Jess has also helped a lot too by talking to me yesterday or sunday, whichever day it was. So I'm really grateful to them, they've knocked a lot of sense into me and although I sometimes feel a bit alone up here being the only guy and stuff, I'm really glad they're around and they put up with me. Dunno what I would have done by now without them.
I guess to sum it all up, it's getting better, slowly.

Damn. I seem unable to write cynical blogs anymore. I shall try again at a later date.