Going to war with Illiteracy

I haven't posted a proper blog in a while. It's mainly all film reviews. So here's a kind-of almost real blog.
You know what's getting at me at the moment. Illiteracy. The inability to correctly formulate a basic english sentence. I don't understand how people can go through 13 years of schooling and come out the other end still writing like a retard. Of course some people have dyslexia and aspergers and other similar things, and for that they can be forgiven, but a lot of the time it's not people like that. The majority of people I know with such conditions try their hardest to write properly and do not use it as an excuse to write in poor english.

For an example of what's getting to me, see how many errors you can spot in the following sentences:

well this will be a good day live band's. dancing. stall's. beer tent's. bock's.
bmx. skate's and lot's more it's 11 till 4 albert road portsmouth sorry have no link so have to look up i met the guy that run's the event and he want's us 2 do a bit of a display for them so let's give them a good year but sorry i was on unicycle but when i said to him about us he loved it.

Number of required apostrophes? ONE. Number used? NINE. Nine fucking apostrophes where they aren't needed. That's like me deciding to sit down. And then choosing to start... writing sentence's; With as much pointles's, needles's punctuation as is humanly possible!!!

Number of commas required? AT LEAST SEVEN. Number used? ZERO. Instead, there's overuse of full stops in a list, and then none for the paragraph.

Capital letters required? TEN. Number used? ZERO.

Also, 11 TILL 4? A Till is something you put money in. So it's 11 lots of Till number 4? IT'S UNTIL, or if you really need to shorten that and look even more like an idiot, 'til. NOT TILL.



had a grate day wiv peple!! but woz nakared bi da end of da day!!!

So you grated something during the day with peples? What's a peple? And then you were a naked bisexual at the end of the day?




y r deleviry servasiz so FUKING SLOH! they r loosing me monie hear!

Yeah Deleviry Servasiz, They're sloh. WHAT?!
And they're loosing monie hear. Loosening what from hearing what?



Sum-how gotta bild up somat similer in bournmoth/pool ara nxt yere-not shure howe -answers ona postkard plese pepole. Well yes I kinda fink ansor is havin a coar to go out un just be reguelery out an havein fun, and ,evan if ownlee fleatinglee ,sum1 lik blue hoo keyps da websight livly and gose wrounding up up pepoles ,startin mets an all-ways been their.

Sum-How? Bild? Somat? Yere? Shure? Pepole? Ansor? Coar? Reguelery? Fleatinglee?! Keyps?! WROUNDING?!
And this was written by a 47-year old who claims to hold 2 university degrees.

I'm not sure if people are just lazy, or plain stupid. Typing stuff isn't hard, and you don't need to make short cuts. Infact, Bi, Grate, Sloh, Monie and Hear aren't even short cuts, they're just obvious examples of incompetent spelling.

Seriously, what the fuck. PEOPLE, GO TO TESCO, AND BUY A FUCKING DICTIONARY. OR GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND RE-GAIN YOUR ENGLISH LANGUAGE GCSE, AND MAYBE SOME SELF-RESPECT TOO.
All of the above things are written by people between the ages of NINETEEN (19) and FIFTY (50).


And in a change to the previous shown programme, here's a bit of fun for you, from a stupidly talented man.